How to survive to German praising methodology

I had a couple of German friends and this is what I learnt from them. 

If you want to praise someone, you would say:

• “you are not terrible” instead of “you are really great“
• “you are a little bit nice” instead of “you are super nice“
• “yeah, not bad” instead of “wow! cool!“

I learnt they are not willing to expose too much. Uncertainty is always there with “probably, maybe, sometimes“. Shrinking is almost a rule: “a little bit, not so much, tiny“. They will complain with you straight away, they will hardly compliment with you.

I wondered myself why this kind of communication.

Then I learnt some of them are afraid of getting a “no“, of being rejected. Be careful, they are no angels. They are willing to tell you “no” and to reject you so easily. Sometimes in a soft way, sometimes in a rude way.

Ask them to go out and they will tell you they have to clean their apartment. Then you’ll propose a different day, then they’ll say they have to go to the gym. Try re-scheduling and they will say they are busy, you know grandma’s birthday. So even if they like you and they are interested in you, they really don’t have time or they don’t want to find time for you. You’ll get used to the answer: “sorry, I don’t have time“. Please do not dare to reschedule, just move on.

Do not conform yourself to this praising standard. Understand it and learn how to deal with it, but keep in mind the way you are, what you want and continue being yourself.

Run away from people not willing to spend time with you. Run away from people so sensitive and terrified of rejection but showing you they don’t give a cent about your feelings.

This is dedicated to the ones willing to move to Germany. This is dedicated to myself.

World population counts almost 8 billion, so you don’t have to have German friends.

“Sea is full of fishes” – according to an Italian saying.